The Many Adventures of Voldie's Followers
by RiverHolly13086
Summary: What do the Death Eaters really do? I mean other than kill and torture. Please read/review. Rated for mild language.
1. A List for Evil Overlords

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter = not mine (I also don't own The Evil Overlord List)**

**Hello loves. I wrote a chapter in 'Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts' from the point of view of the Death Eaters and really enjoyed writing it so I decided to make it a whole story. I'll start with the bit from 'Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts'. If ya like it review and check it out.**

"My Lord, the post is here."

"Excellent, what is there today Wormtail?"

"Bills, threatening letters, a cheque from Lucius and a letter from Hogwarts."

At this Voldemort straitened up. "Has Dumbledore finally decided to give me the Defence post?"

"No," said that pathetic excuse for a human, Wormtail, holding the letter at arms length. "It's from the Weasley twins."

Voldemort leapt behind the sofa. "What is it?" he asked apprehensively.

Peter opened the package as though it might explode, which it could have knowing Fred and George, and replied.

"It's a letter."

Handing the letter to his master, Peter waited respectfully in his corner until he was done reading.

After twenty minutes of Voldemort staring, silently at the parchment; Wormtail decided to risk speaking.

"My lord?" he asked hesitantly.

"Well that's just rubbish," snapped His Evilness, throwing the paper away.

"What is it my lord?" asked the former Scabbers.

"They've sent me a list for Evil Overlord, like I need it"

Wormtail remained silent. It was dangerous to interrupt Voldie while he in the Zone.

"What's worse is the idiotic suggestions on it. Like 'I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."' Who would do that. I must be the one to kill the boy. It is the only way. That's why 'If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.' makes no sense. I'm the leader of the Death Eaters, I must kill Potter to become invincible. And if 'My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.' well where's the fun in that? My Death Eater masks add atmosphere to our attacks. Everyone knows them, everyone them. But this - this is the worst, 'I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.' SNAKES ARE THE BEST, MOST AWESOME CREATURES EVER! Why else would they be the symbol of slytherin?"

At this point the Dark Lord started to hyperventilate. Peter, fearing his master's already terrible breathing problems (having no nose can be a real problem), decided to intervene before things got too out of hand.

"Master they where probably just trying to get too you."

"You're right," said Moldy-Shorts sighing. "But there are some good suggestions on here like this one, 'I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so.' I must insist all Death Eater do this from now on."

"Of course My Lord."

Years later, as Wormtail was trying to strangle Potter the magic hand Voldemort had given him kept acting up. He-who-has-many-names would make sure his servant would keep his promise till the end. Peter Pettigrew's last thought was 'curse you Fred and George'.

**So whatcha think? Tell me in a review. If you liked it check out 'Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts' it's much of the same thing. Love you all, if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you, PM me.**

**~Amy**


	2. Don't mess with Bellatrix

**Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter, on Opposite Day **

**Hello everybody! here's a short chapter as I had no homework (take that homework demon). I got this idea while writing the last chapter, it's based of a point on The Evil Overlord List. Search it, it's really quite funny.**

Lucius missed his house-elf. Really he did. Sure, the wretched thing was an ungrateful, deceitful, nasty little lying bastard but without it he had to do *shudder* housework. He didn't mind cooking but cleaning, that was too much.,

It was a dark and stormy Wednesday night. Lucius is taking out the trash when he noticed a list laying on the floor. Smoothing it out he read;

_Dear Voldiekins,_

_Here's a list of things you should do as an Evil Overlord _

_Sincerely signed, Gred and Feorge._

Glancing around surreptitiously to see if anyone was watching Lucius put the paper in his pocket and continued with his task.

Late that night after his wife had gone to bed Lucius pulled out the paper, lit his wand and began to read.

Some of the suggestions on the list were sensible, some just absurd, but one in particular caught his eye.

'Outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code.'

Lucius smiled to himself as he thought it is dear sister-in-law Bellatrix and her love of black leather. Oh how it would infuriate her if she was only allowed to wear it on formal occasions. Bellatrix was always so funny when infuriated. Then an idea occurred to him. A admittedly wicked idea but hey, what are Death Eaters for.

Bellatrix Lestrange for woke early next morning to the sound of an owl tapping at her window. Clamped tightly in his beak was what she recognized as a message from Lord Voldemort. Opening the window so the bird could fly in she snatched the letter from it and tore in open eagerly. Inside was the following message.

_Dearest Bellatrix,_

_Following a wonderful letter I received from Fred and George Weasley I am making some changes in the Death Eater dress code. Outfits made entirely from black leather, such as the ones you enjoy wearing. will be reserved for formal occasions only. I believe Morel will be much higher with more casual dress code._

_Sincerely,_

_Lord Voldemort _

Bellatrix stared. No this could not be the Dark Lord could not ban black leather. Collapsing onto her bed she pulled the letter to her chest she didn't own anything other than black leather. Did the Dark Lord hate her. Her eyes filled with tears at the thought and she lifted the hand clutching the letter to wipe them. As she did so she noticed a funny smell hanging about it. Almost like girly haircare products.

Lucius

Bellatrix leapt to her feet. _Ho ho_ she thought _so he wants to try and mess with me huh_._ Well two can play at that game, my dear little girly-man_.

The next morning Bella went to the Dark Lord and asked a little evil favor. Later that day the Dark Lord paid a visit to Lucius.

"Lucius," he said silkily. "I've decided long-hair that's too girly for a death eater how do you expect be taken seriously?"

Waving his wand impressively Voldie removed all of Lucius precious locks cutting it so short he was nearly bald. Laughing wickedly at Lucius's scream of horror Moldy-Voldy returned to his chamber.

That night, all the Death Eaters gathered in the main dining-room of the Malfoy Manor for a meeting. Bellatrix smirked evilly at Lucius. Leaning across the table so only she could hear he asked.

"How did you get him to do it?"

Bellatrix replied slyly,

"Even the dark Lord loves a good prank."

**So how was that? How about you tell me in a review? I appreciate it. I only got on about a month ago and it's been a great month. I love writing but never had a really reason to do it before. Now I get to share it with all you lovely people out there. Thank you.**

**-Amy**


	3. The Death Eaters go to the movies

**Disclaimer: I wish but no, not mine**

**Hello hello so here's another chapter for this story which I have not updated in a long time. I got new chapters in the works for Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts, and a new story coming out soon. And if you want to suggest something the Death Eaters should do next leave a review, I love you for it. Or if you just want to have ideas for improvement, that works in a review too. Love you all, Amy**

One day, while broodng on the best way to get the latest season my little pony, (that's right boys and girls, Lord Voldemort is a Bro-ny) our favorite "Evil Overlord" got an interesting invitation.

"My Lord," called Bellatrix from the doorway. "Would you like to come watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part two in 3-D with us?"

"Hm?"

"It's just a movie the muggles made on how they think the battle between you and the boy will end, only you a special glasses to make it look 3-D."

Voldemort leapt to his feet.

"Sure, I'd love to see Harry getting killed in 3D."

* * *

About 30 minutes later almost all the death eaters (Snape had to be dragged by Bella) were seated and ready for action.

"This is so exciting," whispered Voldemort to Bellatrix who was sitting next to him. "I've never see a 3-D movie before. I'll just put on my glasses and… "

Unfortunately for him Voldemort was unable to wear glasses. Because of the,um, absence of a certain feature they kept sliding down his face. (Don't say anything about his nose, it's a very touchy subject with him)

* * *

Later, after fixing his nose issue with the sticking charm, the movie finally started.

As they watch "Harry Potter" crying over Dobby's grave, Bella commented,

"You know, I sort of miss that elf."

"Really?" said Snape disbelieving.

"No," replied Bellatrix turning back to the movie.

* * *

"Wow Snape, the actor cast for you looks just like you!" exclaimed Rodolphus excitedly.

"Shh!" hissed Snape. He was trying to watch the movie. It was strangely accurate.

"Snape, I think you just died," muttered Rabastion.

"No." Snape snapped (ha ha that's funny) "I'm just between syllables in the word 'equally'"

"Ahh."

* * *

"NO! NOT THE QUIDITCH PITCH!"

* * *

"Aww, Snape had his heart broken," simpered Narcissa to her husband.

"Wait," cried Lucius.

"THAT'S why he's emo!"

* * *

"Oh no, Harry you dropped your magic stone," said Dolohov to the movie screen.

"Yeah you're gonna need that dude. Pick it up!" shouted Rookwood.

* * *

"Oh hell no!" screamed Bellatrix looking deranged. "I get killed by Molly freaking Weasley! No freaking way!"

Slouching low in his seat, Snape smirked.

* * *

"Avada K…"

"My Lord?" asked Snape hesatintly.

"Hush Snape," snapped Voldemort. "I'm trying to kill Harry."

"My Lord, it's just a movie."

"Oh," said Voldemort, lowering his wand. "Wow that 3D is really amazing."

* * *

"Wait," said Rodolphus suddenly. "They spent the next 19 years in London and Ron has a gut?"

"Yep," replied his brother.

"Wow," exclaimed Rodolphus annoyed Whats the point of being famous then?"

* * *

"Well," Voldie started as they left the theater after the showing. "That movie wasn't bad, but the Muggles are stupider than I thought if they think Harry's going to win."

"And if they think I'm going to be killed by Molly Weasley," fumed Bellatrix.

"Give it a rest Bella," said her husband exasperatedly. "It's just a movie."

"Yeah, like Potter could ever come back from the dead," laughed Rookwood.

* * *

During the Final Battle, as Harry pulled off his invisibility cloak revealing that he was alive, almost on the Death Eaters were thinking the same thing,

"Haven't I seen this somewhere before?"

**So what do you think you think? Please review. Some ideas were taken from college humour's skit: overheard at the movies. Also I'm aware that in Britain you use the terms film and cinema but I'm not as familiar those so it was just easier for me to use movies. I hope you aren't offended. Love you guys. Anyway I need ideas on what they should do next so please help, thanks. Love ya,**

**Amy**


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